Is It You Or Me??
Hey guys
Its been a while since I posted something on here. Truth be told I've just not had the urge to express anything of great value for people to read. Luckily for you today is just that day to use this as a tool to clear my mind of the many thoughts and feelings I've been having over the past month or two.
You see I'm just so sick and tired of having to defend myself to people who I believed knew me so well. I'm not a malicious person neither am I the type to do or say things to purposely hurt others, so why is that when I try to explain myself to others that I may have unintentionally hurt or apologise its just not enough. Its like they are the only one in the partnership/relationship that is allowed to be hurt. I myself get hurt by others actions. The best I can do is let you know, and once you've acknowledged how I've felt then I, matter of fact WE can keep it moving. so then I wonder is it me or is it them.
People are so quick to check you on your flaws like say they are Gods perfect creation that can do no wrong. I can not, I repeat CAN NOT make or force a person to understand me. Am I not allowed to have feelings and emotions like you do? Am I just made to do as you say and please? Why can't we all just get along? Friendships/Relationships should never be this hard.
Truth be told but I've rarely ever felt completely valued or appreciated in SOME relationships which is sad as I value those close to me. I may not show it all the time but what single human does.
There comes a time when maybe you just have to walk away and give up on a friendship/relationship. And its never because you don't care or value the person but there are some relationship that you simply out grow. It never takes away the love and care you hold for that person its just things have changed.
It may seem harsh and you may not know this but there is someone out there that has probably given on you and you don't even know it.
I thought relationships should be like a partnership. Where by its 50/50 from both sides. Truth be told i rarely feel that way within some of my friendships/relationships both present and past. Its always one rule for them and another for me. For example I know someone that when I message them they wanna take a day if not two to respond back to me and their excuse is they were busy and i'm like whatever, cool. Now when they now message me and I take no less than 2mins to respond back I get ?? marks being flung at me and 'oi' that's to mean: 'why are you taking long to respond to me'. But oh wait its OK for you to take a day to respond back but moment i'm taking just a minute to not respond promptly to your message its a problem. Sigh. Maybe its because I tolerate some peoples bullshit far too much. I just don't know :-(
These past two months has been a major eye opener for me. I've learnt and realised so much about people as well as myself. If certain friends or family are drifting away from you it can only mean they are doing better with out you and there is nothing wrong with that. If anything that makes my heart melt yet saddens me as i'm not around to witness this. I'm even starting to think those that are leaving my life are merely making room for others to enter my life and embark on a new chapter. Some people will read this and think I'm throwing shade, further more only understanding a small part of what I've said and take offense, as oppose to reading this and trying to understand where I am coming from. I can not stress how often people only listen to me in order to just reply. Or from the thousands of things in which I've said, they hold on to that one sentence, completely dismissing why in fact I'm feeling that way. *triple sigh*
Life will throw you challenges and the best way to deal with it is on your own, where one can self evaluate and clear your mind. Only you know what you feel and why your feeling that way and if others can not understand it is not a bad thing. So spend a day or two to vent, get over it and keep it moving. Not everyone will understand your journey just like one can not understand theirs...but your not meant to.
Live Life, Love and Learn is my new motto. Try it
XOXO
Its been a while since I posted something on here. Truth be told I've just not had the urge to express anything of great value for people to read. Luckily for you today is just that day to use this as a tool to clear my mind of the many thoughts and feelings I've been having over the past month or two.
You see I'm just so sick and tired of having to defend myself to people who I believed knew me so well. I'm not a malicious person neither am I the type to do or say things to purposely hurt others, so why is that when I try to explain myself to others that I may have unintentionally hurt or apologise its just not enough. Its like they are the only one in the partnership/relationship that is allowed to be hurt. I myself get hurt by others actions. The best I can do is let you know, and once you've acknowledged how I've felt then I, matter of fact WE can keep it moving. so then I wonder is it me or is it them.
People are so quick to check you on your flaws like say they are Gods perfect creation that can do no wrong. I can not, I repeat CAN NOT make or force a person to understand me. Am I not allowed to have feelings and emotions like you do? Am I just made to do as you say and please? Why can't we all just get along? Friendships/Relationships should never be this hard.
Truth be told but I've rarely ever felt completely valued or appreciated in SOME relationships which is sad as I value those close to me. I may not show it all the time but what single human does.
There comes a time when maybe you just have to walk away and give up on a friendship/relationship. And its never because you don't care or value the person but there are some relationship that you simply out grow. It never takes away the love and care you hold for that person its just things have changed.
It may seem harsh and you may not know this but there is someone out there that has probably given on you and you don't even know it.
I thought relationships should be like a partnership. Where by its 50/50 from both sides. Truth be told i rarely feel that way within some of my friendships/relationships both present and past. Its always one rule for them and another for me. For example I know someone that when I message them they wanna take a day if not two to respond back to me and their excuse is they were busy and i'm like whatever, cool. Now when they now message me and I take no less than 2mins to respond back I get ?? marks being flung at me and 'oi' that's to mean: 'why are you taking long to respond to me'. But oh wait its OK for you to take a day to respond back but moment i'm taking just a minute to not respond promptly to your message its a problem. Sigh. Maybe its because I tolerate some peoples bullshit far too much. I just don't know :-(
These past two months has been a major eye opener for me. I've learnt and realised so much about people as well as myself. If certain friends or family are drifting away from you it can only mean they are doing better with out you and there is nothing wrong with that. If anything that makes my heart melt yet saddens me as i'm not around to witness this. I'm even starting to think those that are leaving my life are merely making room for others to enter my life and embark on a new chapter. Some people will read this and think I'm throwing shade, further more only understanding a small part of what I've said and take offense, as oppose to reading this and trying to understand where I am coming from. I can not stress how often people only listen to me in order to just reply. Or from the thousands of things in which I've said, they hold on to that one sentence, completely dismissing why in fact I'm feeling that way. *triple sigh*
Life will throw you challenges and the best way to deal with it is on your own, where one can self evaluate and clear your mind. Only you know what you feel and why your feeling that way and if others can not understand it is not a bad thing. So spend a day or two to vent, get over it and keep it moving. Not everyone will understand your journey just like one can not understand theirs...but your not meant to.
Live Life, Love and Learn is my new motto. Try it
XOXO
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